So we’ve all hit that point where we know it won’t work with someone. And usually, you would like to think that you’ll be able to handle it calmly through a face to face conversation, hug and go about your day. Sometimes though, there are exigent circumstances. They might be a crazy person, you might be a coward, or some level of abuse, or it’s really fucking far to their house and you don’t even like them that much. And you are faced with a moral dilemma: When is it okay to say you want to stop seeing someone not in person?
Text- Before the third date. I think while you still deem your relationship casual. Before the use of relationshippy titles.
Also: potential stalker behavior.
Written- Before the fifth date.
Sidenote: If I’m breaking up with someone via note, it would probably be on a bar receipt taped to their door. Or bike.
Well phrased email- Same as text message
Shittily phrased email- Never. Use your grammar reference, asshat.
Phone call- Tertiary relationships, and those still deemed casual by both parties. They live more than an hour from you. I also think that if the person is abusive/over-reactive to the point of potentially being suicidal then it is permissible to break up with them over the phone.
Abusive, actually, just dump their stuff on the sidewalk. Not in front of your apartment, another apartment. In another state.
Through a friend/relative- 8th grade relationships or lower. Grow the fuck up.
Leaving their stuff on their porch- At any point, but only if they exhibit horrible dating behavior repeatedly AND you have discussed this behavior with them (no, hints don’t count) and they still suck. Note may or may not be included.
Calling them to come over and when they get there all their stuff is on the sidewalk- Never. Exception: Abusive, see phone call.
On Facebook- See through friend/relative.
Awkward Relationship questions: brought to you by the letters W, T and F.
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